Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Fred's Dead!

This one came to me in a dream. "Unfair Kung Fu Mismatch" from the other side:

Fred Rogers


Fred Krueger

Mr. Rogers puts on his cardigan and sneakers and tells Freddie he's "special". He asks Freddie to be his neighbor in song causing the X-men wannabe to sob uncontrollably. Mr. Rogers puts his arm around Freddie's shoulder and listens to an hour long confession of wrong-doings. Freddie's ghastly body disentegrates, his soul finally free from its prison floating to the heavenly light.
Mr. Rogers just smiles with satisfaction.
Bang, bang, bang! A knock on the front door. "Special Delivery!"
"Damn", Mr. Roger grunts as he pulls off a sneaker, opens the door, and beats that nerdy mailman's head into a bloody pulp. "How-*whack*-many-*whack*-times-*whack*-have-*whack*-I-*whack*-told-*whack*-you to never bother me again in eternity?!!"-*whack* The special delivery man's soul escapes and plummets to Hades. Yep, Mr. Rogers is the Angel of Death...nice work (post-mortem) if you can get it.

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