Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My favorite thrillers

Halloween is the time when your TV gets swamped with "scary" movies. Most of them are not scary or even entertaining anymore. Modern horror films have become gore fests trying to up the ante on how many shocking ways people can be dismembered. And apparently there are still plenty of blood hungry people willing to shell out some cash to see them, otherwise they wouldn't have needed to make Saw V. So what better time to offer up a sample of my favorites in the horror/thriller genre.

Shaun of the Dead

Nothing like a good zombie movie. Throw in some romance, the best young comic actors Britain has to offer, more hilarious moments than whole seasons of most American sitcoms, and you've got a modern horror/comedy classic! "You've got red on you."


What makes Jaws a great thriller is NOT the shark, because I can hear you now saying, "but it looks so fake!" It was actually fortunate for Spielberg that the mechanical shark broke down at the beginning of production because his original plan to show us the entire beast in the first sequence was thrown out. It's what we DON'T see for most of the film that freaks us out. John Williams' music is still terrifying and instantly recognizable, and face it, you know a movie scares people when they stop going to the beach for months after seeing it.


F.W. Murnau made his silent classic in 1922 after Bram Stoker's widow refused to give him the rights to film Dracula. Murnau decided to change the name and created the creepiest vampire in film history, Count Olaf. Plus, his cameo made one of the funniest SpongeBob episodes ever!

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

Another comedy/horror classic which put both Bruce Campbell and director Sam Raimi on the map. Perfect combination of Three Stooges slapstick and George Romero-like horror. When they kick the old hag in the face I crack up every time.

The Sixth Sense

Clever idea for a horror film and proof that you don't need gore, monsters, or even special effects to make an audience jump out of their seats.

What Lies Beneath

Once again, very little special effects needed to send chills up your spine. I love the way Robert Zemeckis plays the audience in this one. It's not even all that scary, but when you find out the truth you don't want to believe it. I'll leave it at that for anyone who hasn't seen it.


Director Henri-Georges Clouzot's French mystery masterpiece was unfortunately remade with Sharon Stone! GAG! See the original and keep the classic ending to yourself.

The Shining

Jack Nicholson is superb in Kubrick's horror classic. I actually root for Johnny, he's so funny. "Give me the bat, Wendy!"


Still the greatest horror flick ever made because there's never been another Hitchcock. It was made in 1960 and hasn't aged a bit. Anthony Perkins gives one of the best performances in film history. And if you think not going to the beach was a big deal, after Psycho people stopped taking showers!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Music Research Project

Someone once said that Styx was the "Worst band of all time". So after hundreds of hours of "research" here is what I've come up with:

Artists WORSE than Styx!

Michael Bolton
He oozes sophistication doesn't he?

Cute and cuddly like little puppies hence the name, uh, wham?

Bad English
When I see you smile...something tells me you're not smiling "with" me.

Lita Ford
"Kiss me once, kiss me twice!"....shame on you.

"I'm Gaaaaaaaa-ay!"


Night Ranger
Is that a band or a bail bondsmen convention?

38 Special
Yeah, gay Cowboy hats are cool!

I can see where they got that name...every woman's dream.

A better name would be GiveMeMyNickelBack

Billy Squier
Don't mess with that guy! How about Billy S Quier?

Vanilla Ice
And you thought YOU were cool!

Limp Bizkit
Yeah, we're Rage Against The Machine for middle school!!! Your parents warned you about us.

Peter Frampton
Back when People magazine wasn't targeting the "heterosexual" demographic.

So talented they make my eyes hurt.

Hootie and the Blowfish
Seriously, is that the best name they could come up with?

Kriss Kross
Move over Ralph Lauren, this style will never die!

Boy, you really look depressed. Maybe you should jump off of a bridge.

How many buffalo wings joints would have used that name if it weren't for you?

Color Me Badd
Who else could make New Kids on the Block look like The Beatles?

Their music might suck but their hair is FABULOUS!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Even MORE favorite movie lines!

You know, for kids! - The Hudsucker Proxy

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?
Woman: Do you really?
Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it'll get me somewhere.
- A Night In Casablanca

I like these guys. These are funny guys. I'll only shoot one of them. - The Three Amigos

He hates these cans! - The Jerk

My name is Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill ya. Nobody touches my stuff, so just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff I'll kill ya. And nobody touches ME, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill ya! - Stripes

Dad just loves powerlines. He figures it's a reminder of man's ability to generate electricity. Dad's always saying wonderful things like that. That's why we love him so much. - The Castle

How 'bout that serenity? - The Castle