Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday Leftovers

In honor of Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when we pull out the mayo and leftover turkey for some turkey sandwiches, I thought I would pull out a leftover for your amusement. Here's some recycled humor from the blog going back to the beginning...

Media Anxiety Disorder
Do you ever go for a few days or weeks without watching the news and then you have no idea what's going on in the world? You go to work one Monday and you're like "Burt and Lonnie got a divorce?!" Everyone around is wondering why your haircut and shoes are relatively up to date and you aren't wearing a bolo tie. Which reminds me...

3 things that seemed really great at the time but now we wonder why they ever happened:

Bolo ties
Astro turf
Joni and Chachi

Are there certain songs you used to really like, maybe very good songs, that now you loathe passionately because they remind you of something or somoeone you'd rather NOT remember?
Like the song you were enjoying right before your transmission went out that time, and now if it's ever playing at Quizno's while you're eating your Angus Steak you get a sudden tightness in your stomach reminiscing about having to put $1800 on your credit card and the smell of that cheap, dingy hotel you had to stay in while it was being fixed because you were on a road trip 300 miles from home.
-Or the one that comes on periodically that you absolutely loved in your younger days because you and your sweetie-pie chose it to be "our song" and now it just reminds you of how that special someone dumped you so you could "just be friends" assuring you repeatedly that "it's not you, it's me" but had no problem making out with someone who wasn't "just a friend" two weeks later at the prom!
-Or the one that played every single friggin' day over the Muzak in the department store you worked in for a whole year and now every time you hear it you feel like you're back folding crappy Bugle Boy apparel and straightening ties for an hour straight, or whatever you had to straighten.
Please let me know if I left any particular painful memory out.

Mmmm, this homemade stuffing is even better the day after. Enjoy the rest of your leftovers (especially the pumpkin pie!) and get some of that Christmas shopping done. Peace out!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What I'm thankful for in 2008

I'm thankful that Alabama is ranked #1 for the first time since 1992!

I'm thankful that the interminably long and obnoxious political campaign season is OVER!

I'm thankful that "Bush derangement syndrome" is almost over.

I'm thankful that we finally have a black president so I can complain about the MAN keeping me down for a change!

I'm thankful that freedom of speech on blogs, including sarcasm and biting criticism of political lefties is still legal (for now).

I'm thankful to the judges on Dancing With The Stars for letting Warren Sapp make it to the finals, because otherwise I wouldn't be on the edge of my muted anticipation.

I'm thankful that Ben Affleck hasn't been in a movie for so long I can't remember.

I'm thankful for Daniel Craig making 007 super cool again.

I'm thankful that the Detroit Lions can finally break the record as the only winless team in NFL history. (Let's keep our fingers crossed!!)

I'm thankful that 24 is finally back on TV. Unfortunately, I missed the 2 hour special so now I have to wait a year for the DVDs. I need Tivo.

I'm thankful that Simon Pegg and Ricky Gervais keep making movies and keep making me laugh.

I'm thankful that others are starting to figure out Adam Sandler isn't that funny.

I'm thankful that U2 is in the studio working on their 12th album and it will be out next year.

I'm thankful for everyone who actually reads all of this crap everytime I post. Thank you.

I'm thankful for friends, family, the U.S.A., the U.S. military, Turner Classic Movies, cheesesteaks, burritos, good music, good movies, college football, online movie rentals, mp3s, Thomas Sowell, Alison Krauss, the Coen brothers, Coach Nick Saban, Sarah Palin, my wife, my kids, and Jesus Christ, THE dauphin of daylight.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Decades: Poll Results

As best as I can remember them. I broke ties with a dictatorial deciding vote, after all, it is my blog.

Favorite Actor and Actress

1930s- James Stewart
Judy Garland

1940s- Cary Grant
Katherine Hepburn

1950s- Marlon Brando
Grace Kelly

1960s- Sidney Poitier
Audrey Hepburn

1970s- Jack Nicholson
Diane Keaton

1980s- Harrison Ford
Debra Winger

1990s- Morgan Freeman
Sandra Bullock

Today- Christian Bale
Kate Winslet

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you, Amen!

Since there is much hype surrounding the upcoming epic film Australia starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman I thought I would name a few Australian movies I like; some made in and some about the land "down under".

The Castle
Funniest movie ever from Australia. "Bonny Doon". "How 'bout that serenity?"

Danny Deckchair
Another excellent Aussie comedy starring Rhys Ifans (Notting Hill) and Miranda Otto (Lord of the Rings)

The Man From Snowy River
Still a family classic.

Quigley Down Under
Underrated western set in the Outback has Tom Selleck in his best cinematic role and an ending that still packs a punch.

A mystery and intense character study with an excellent ensemble cast- Geoffrey Rush, Barbara Hershey and Anthony LaPaglia.

Breaker Morant
Director Bruce Beresford's finest film (Driving Miss Daisy, Tender Mercies) is a true account of Australian officers on trial during the Boer War in South Africa.

Crocodile Dundee II
Okay, so this isn't a list of Academy Award winners. I said my favorites remember, and the second Dundee flick is actually set "down under" and is much funnier than the first one in my opinion.

Although the critics seem to dig Picnic At Hanging Rock the most I think Gallipoli is Peter Weir's best Australian film and maybe the best of all of his films ( The Truman Show, Witness, Master and Commander). It is a timeless story of youth, friendship, adventure, and sacrifice. It portrays with historical accuracy the fateful WWI battle at Anzac which is the most hallowed in the memories of Aussies to this day and celebrated annually on Anzac Day. It is also my favorite Australian film.

...Of course Finding Nemo is pretty good too.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yay, Communism!!!

Now that this interminably long election season is over we should pause and look at what has happened. Don't get caught up in the hype of the giddy media coverage over this "historic" presidential pick. It is historic but not because the new president is "black". It is instead a historic turning, because of ignorant desperation, toward socialism. Despite the evidence of history and more resources for learning at our beck and call than anytime or anywhere in history we think we should try what others have already proven is a failure. But don't take my word for it. Let's examine the words of the man himself.

Obama says- "health-care is a right"

So I guess that means doctors should deliver my children for free. After all it is my "right". We have a perfect example of a single-payer healthcare plan just north of us in Canada. Canadians drive to the U.S. for health-care because of the long lines for any kind of operation. I spoke to a Canadian recently who has family in Saskatchewan. He says they drive to some tiny burg in North Dakota to go to the hospital even though there are Canadian hospitals much closer. Why? Since my wife is a nurse, I know the answer. When health-care is "free" (as we have in this country with MediCare) people come to the hospital for anything and everything, clogging up the system and making it harder to serve those with more serious problems. When everyone is "free" it will become a nightmare. In Canada and other countries with socialized medicine it takes weeks and even months just to get an MRI. The Canadian I spoke to had an uncle who died of a heart attack at 52. He said his uncle had chest pains for weeks beforehand, but couldn't get in to see his doctor because of a waiting list. Sounds like utopia to me!!
Sure, like everything else in the left-wing mindset, health-care isn't MY responsibility. It's a "right" and others (see government) are supposed to take care of me. Since we know it doesn't work anywhere else, let's see how bad it can be for us. Thanks Obama. Yay Communism!!

Obama says- "We have to grow the economy from the bottom up"

Of course, because venture capatalists are always at "the bottom" right? And no rich person ever starts businesses, or invests in businesses, or hires people at "the bottom" for their business. That's why Cuba has the best economy on earth and regularly outproduces the U.S. in GDP, right Obama? If I know more about economics than the President of the United States something is seriously wrong!! Thanks, Obama. Yay, Communism!!

Obama says- "Everyone making less than $250 thousand a year....everyone making less than $200 thousand a year will get a tax cut"

No, because when you let Bush's tax cuts expire and revert back to pre-2000 tax rates, EVERYONE will get a tax increase, even those underneath your shifting arbitrary number, Obama.
Thanks, Obama. Yay, Communism!!

We have finally been taken over by the media and THEIR political party which is ignorant of economics and indifferent to the Constitution. Even when they screw things up as they have with the current bailout, the truth is swept under the rug and few learn the lessons of failure. The current economic crisis can be directly linked to Obama and his party allies but obviously after this election, not enough people knew (thanks to the media and timid Republicans) or not enough people cared. Someday hopefully they will. Until then...thanks Obama. Yay, Communism!!