Saturday, January 5, 2008

A Few New Year's Resolutions

So far I haven't kept a single resolution but maybe that's because I just had the usual. You know: stop eating junk, less TV, quit locking the kids in the basement...the usual. So I thought if I made some more reasonable and achievable
resolutions then maybe I would have more success. So here goes some ideas off the top of my head.

-In 2008 I resolve to not watch anything with Julia Roberts in it. I kinda wanted to see Charlie Wilson's War, but oh well.

-In 2008 I resolve to do nothing to "fight" "global warming"...whatever the heck that means.

-In 2008 I resolve to smoke more cigars and drink more bourbon than I did in 2007.

-In 2008 I resolve to pay as little attention as possible to presidential campaign ads.

-In 2008 I resolve to never say the words- "Britney", "Lindsay", "Spears" "Lohan" or "K-Fed". I would add "Paris" to that list, but I've heard there's also a famous European city with that name.

-In 2008 I resolve to cheer for any team that faces Bill Belichick in the NFL playoffs. Yeah, his team is great but he's a jerk.

-In 2008 I resolve to pray for the Big East officials to overcome blindness.

-In 2008 I resolve to pray for Oklahoma and Bob Stoops to overcome choking. "Choklahoma"...heehee, get it?

-In 2008 I resolve to not watch the same shows I didn't watch in 2007 when the writers were on strike. Boy, did they make a difference! Their craftsmanship has totally been missed by me....big time.

-In 2008 I resolve to keep writing random, trivial thoughts on this blog so that others wonder consistently about my mental stability.

There, I think those are totally doable, don't you?


Anonymous said...

Well, I mean, there..there's some stuff that...n..n..needs to be done this year, but you don't give a rayut's aaayuss.

Anonymous said...

It's awesome the overflow of people who visit your blog into Desert River. I can't even manage a forum that busy!

Anonymous said...

I think this year is a good one for a few changes for myself as well. I think I will smoke more cigars and drink more bourbon too. mmmgoy?

Clayton Bigsby disciple said...


Dignan said...

Ya'll STANK!!