Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Kung Fu

Happy Thanksgiving! Being in a festive holiday mood I thought it would be a good time to unveil a new game. It's called "Completely Unfair Kung Fu Mismatch For Similarly Named Celebrities" Sounds fun, huh? The first matchup is going to be interesting and "completely unfair":

LeVar Burton


Lavar Arrington

"Take a look, it's in a book"....NFL linebacker squishes Gordy Leforge like a pancake! Nice. I hope you picked the linebacker in that scenario.

Next match:

Dustin Diamond


Neil Diamond

Hmmm, how's this one gonna go down? Got it. Neil slashes Screech's throat with a throwing sequin! "Turned out your heartlight, biatch!"

And now our feature bout, the battle royale cage match between:

Napoleon Dynamite



Well, you would think with his shifty moves, height advantage, and limited knowledge of cage fighting ND would have the upper hand, but the truth is Napoleon is a master tactician and since Bill and Ted brought him to the future he's watched a lot of WWF. He's also watched a bunch of movies and none were worse than "Benchwarmers" so he is visibly angry when he gets into the cage with Heder. The little Corsican lays a Judo death grip on Dynamite, paralyzing him instantly....unfortunately that's not a legal move and the dictator is banished to St. Helena for eternity. Darn.

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