Thanksgiving Kung Fu

Happy Thanksgiving! Being in a festive holiday mood I thought it would be a good time to unveil a new game. It's called "Completely Unfair Kung Fu Mismatch For Similarly Named Celebrities" Sounds fun, huh? The first matchup is going to be interesting and "completely unfair":


LeVar Burton

VS


Lavar Arrington




"Take a look, it's in a book"....NFL linebacker squishes Gordy Leforge like a pancake! Nice. I hope you picked the linebacker in that scenario.

Next match:


Dustin Diamond

VS


Neil Diamond







Hmmm, how's this one gonna go down? Got it. Neil slashes Screech's throat with a throwing sequin! "Turned out your heartlight, biatch!"


And now our feature bout, the battle royale cage match between:




Napoleon Dynamite

VS



Napoleon





Well, you would think with his shifty moves, height advantage, and limited knowledge of cage fighting ND would have the upper hand, but the truth is Napoleon is a master tactician and since Bill and Ted brought him to the future he's watched a lot of WWF. He's also watched a bunch of movies and none were worse than "Benchwarmers" so he is visibly angry when he gets into the cage with Heder. The little Corsican lays a Judo death grip on Dynamite, paralyzing him instantly....unfortunately that's not a legal move and the dictator is banished to St. Helena for eternity. Darn.