("I'm just sayin'" and "it is what it is" drew a tie for "Most Overused Throw-Away Phrase". Thanks for playing)
It is the day after the big day. You have all those leftovers to enjoy like Turkey sandwiches and maybe a little pumpkin pie with your cool whip. So here's some leftover recycled humor from Daylight's Dauphin's past. Hopefully all that time in the fridge made the flavors even funnier. Enjoy!
Rating Ratings (July 2008)
Brian Regan jokes about answering his nurse in the ER when she asks him to "rate his pain". He shrugs and says, "two enthusiastic thumbs up? Four stars?" There is a rating for everything now. If you want to buy a car you can look up safety ratings, if you want to stay in a hotel you can find out how many "stars" it is, and of course there are movie guide books of all kinds from Roger Ebert or Leonard Maltin to Bubba Joe's Favort Picher Shows (don't waste time Googling, I made it up for goodness sake!)
Each has its own rating system from 1 star (*) to four stars (****) . They have their own ideas for the worst movies, too. Some just say "No stars". Some call them a "turkey" and others call them a "BOMB". If I had my own movie book I would call really bad movies "Donkey turd" or maybe "VOMIT". I've also thought about using names that denote banality and awfulness to describe my feelings for a crapfest I wasted an hour plus and a few bills on. For instance something like Benchwarmers, so bad it hurts to type it, I would give the rating "Hillary", or for Oprah's Beloved, like tiny shards of glass in the retina, I would give the rating "Bolton" (as in Michael Bolton). You could use "Affleck" or "Keanu", or for a very bold statement "Begala".
Rolling Stone apparently thought four stars wasn't enough to describe some "classic" albums so they kicked it up a notch to FIVE stars which I thought only applied to The Waldorf Astoria or Army generals. But, since Rolling Stone is run by pinko commies I doubt they would give General George S. Patton five stars. I don't think he was much of a dancer and if casting George C. Scott to play the General is any indication, his singing voice was probably awful! Plus he hated commies, so I'm guessing he probably would get 2 stars (**)- one for Sicily and the other for George C. Scott's Oscar.
I think I should give some examples of how I would rate stuff. Let's start simple with the albums of U2.
Boy- ****
October- ***1/2 (this is like saying I'm too timid to give it four stars but I liked it more than a "good" three stars. It's an easy compromise...like voting for Zel Miller)
War- ****
The Unforgettable Fire- ***1/2
The Joshua Tree- ***** (hey, if Rolling Stone can, then so can I!)
Rattle and Hum- ****
Achtung Baby- *****
Zooropa- **1/2
Pop- ***
All That You Can't Leave Behind- ***1/2
How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb- ***1/2
No Line On The Horizon- ****
vegetables:
carrots- **1/2
green beans- ***1/2
broccoli- ****
asparagus- **
potatoes-
(mashed) ****
(baked) ****
(steak fries) ***
(McDonald's fries) *****
squash- **
brussel sprouts- CELINE DION (just thought of that one)
Mary Poppins songs:
"Spoonful Of Sugar"- ****
"I Love To Laugh"- ***1/2
"Let's Go Fly a Kite"- ****
"Chim-Chim Charee"- *****
"Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious"- **1/2 (very overplayed and thus overrated)
"Feed The Birds"- **** (totally underrated if you think about it)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
My favorite football helmets: college
(Old Yeller wins "favorite dog movie" in the latest poll. I'm surprised not one person voted for Marley and Me....including me.)
(Back to the Future wins "favorite time travel movie" in a landslide. Thanks for voting!)
As it was with my favorite pro helmets, less is more. I like the traditional, not too fancy, images of college football. I will say up front that I HATE orange, so apologies to Syracuse, Clemson, and the Florida Gators who actually have a cool helmet with the classic script, but I couldn't do it. And obviously I have no love for Auburn or Tennessee. Here are the ones that stand out to me:
10. Florida State Seminoles
In ESPN's helmet clash, this helmet was the overwhelming favorite, so I felt I should include it here. The arrow is a classic look.
9. Ohio State Buckeyes
As much as it pains me to include this Big Ten media darling, I have to admit the helmets are a college football classic. The helmet stickers are a cool tradition, and since there are so many schools with gold helmets it is also nice to see one represent in silver.
8. Air Force Falcons
Simple imagary. C'mon who doesn't love the lightning bolt?
7. Georgia Bulldogs
Like their pro counterparts, the Green Bay Packers they made this "G" font legendary.
6. Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Helmet paint with real gold in it. NO logos, no frills, just the most famous gold helmet on the planet. But the team still stinks, haha.
5. Texas Longhorns
Another team I hate to give any love to, but these are great helmets. The solid white without a center stripe and the simple logo make these some of the coolest helmets in college ball.
4. Nebraska Cornhuskers
I give lots of credit for schools that stick with their guns and never change the helmet. Well, Nebraska did make one change, they dropped the letter "U" years ago but I love the fact that they never hyped up the letter "N". It is still the same simple old-fashioned font. They are THE red and white team, and this helmet is certainly one of the most recognizable in sports.
3. UCLA Bruins
I usually have very little nice to say about the PAC-10, but these helmets are excellent. Actually, the whole uniform may be the best looking in sports. The blue and gold look fantastic, and I love the classic script on the helmet too. Makes me wonder why Pitt changed theirs, and now have one of the worst helmets in college.
2. Penn State Nittany Lions
Talk about sticking to your guns! I love the fact that no other team in all of football can claim the white helmet with no logo whatsoever. Just put a nice navy stripe down the center and you have the most classic helmet in sports. Well, except for one that is...
1. Alabama Crimson Tide
Well, duh! Who did you think would be numero uno on this blog? Bama's are the ones with the numbers still on the helmet. While everybody else eventually removed their numbers (including Penn State, I believe) we decided to be THE school to stay with tradition. Crimson is much more aggressive and beautiful than red in my opinion, and the white stripe just makes it that much better. Roll Tide!
(Back to the Future wins "favorite time travel movie" in a landslide. Thanks for voting!)
As it was with my favorite pro helmets, less is more. I like the traditional, not too fancy, images of college football. I will say up front that I HATE orange, so apologies to Syracuse, Clemson, and the Florida Gators who actually have a cool helmet with the classic script, but I couldn't do it. And obviously I have no love for Auburn or Tennessee. Here are the ones that stand out to me:
10. Florida State Seminoles
In ESPN's helmet clash, this helmet was the overwhelming favorite, so I felt I should include it here. The arrow is a classic look.
9. Ohio State Buckeyes
As much as it pains me to include this Big Ten media darling, I have to admit the helmets are a college football classic. The helmet stickers are a cool tradition, and since there are so many schools with gold helmets it is also nice to see one represent in silver.
8. Air Force Falcons
Simple imagary. C'mon who doesn't love the lightning bolt?
7. Georgia Bulldogs
Like their pro counterparts, the Green Bay Packers they made this "G" font legendary.
6. Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Helmet paint with real gold in it. NO logos, no frills, just the most famous gold helmet on the planet. But the team still stinks, haha.
5. Texas Longhorns
Another team I hate to give any love to, but these are great helmets. The solid white without a center stripe and the simple logo make these some of the coolest helmets in college ball.
4. Nebraska Cornhuskers
I give lots of credit for schools that stick with their guns and never change the helmet. Well, Nebraska did make one change, they dropped the letter "U" years ago but I love the fact that they never hyped up the letter "N". It is still the same simple old-fashioned font. They are THE red and white team, and this helmet is certainly one of the most recognizable in sports.
3. UCLA Bruins
I usually have very little nice to say about the PAC-10, but these helmets are excellent. Actually, the whole uniform may be the best looking in sports. The blue and gold look fantastic, and I love the classic script on the helmet too. Makes me wonder why Pitt changed theirs, and now have one of the worst helmets in college.
2. Penn State Nittany Lions
Talk about sticking to your guns! I love the fact that no other team in all of football can claim the white helmet with no logo whatsoever. Just put a nice navy stripe down the center and you have the most classic helmet in sports. Well, except for one that is...
1. Alabama Crimson Tide
Well, duh! Who did you think would be numero uno on this blog? Bama's are the ones with the numbers still on the helmet. While everybody else eventually removed their numbers (including Penn State, I believe) we decided to be THE school to stay with tradition. Crimson is much more aggressive and beautiful than red in my opinion, and the white stripe just makes it that much better. Roll Tide!
Monday, November 2, 2009
My Favorite Football helmets: Pro
(By the narrowest of margins The Beatles edged out Pink Floyd for "greatest classic rock group ever" in the latest poll. Thanks for participating.)
This list has nothing to do with teams that I go for or how many super bowls they have won. It has nothing to do with who owns the team or plays for the team. It is simply a subjective look at the famous helmets worn by these teams. I am at heart a traditionalist so I am sorry in advance to the Jaguars and the Titans (who have the worst helmet in my opinion) for not including them. I like old school. I like classic. I like simple. These are my top ten favorite pro football helmets.
Honorable mention:
Philadelphia Eagles
Nice strong color and the wings are definitely a classic look. Makes me hungry for a cheesesteak!
10. Pittsburgh Steelers
Let's get the state of Pennsylvania out of the way with the first two on my list. I don't care for the team or even the colors that much but I like the way the logo is on one side of the helmet. Very old school and that's cool.
9. Miami Dolphins
That dolphin with the helmet is one of the best images in sports to me. I heard rumors years ago that they were going to change it but I wouldn't dream of it if I were in charge. It's a classic.
8. Green Bay Packers
No top ten list of pro footbal helmets should leave this one out. It is the image of Vince Lomabardi, Bart Starr, and Paul Hornung. It's THE classic pro football helmet. I don't know which came first, the Green Bay "G" or the Georgia Bulldog "G", but they are both classics.
7. San Diego Chargers
The Chargers helmets worn by Dan Fouts and those early teams were pretty cool, but then they changed to a darker blue in the 90s which I never liked. These new helmets however are the coolest ones yet. I love the white helmet with the blue and yellow combo bolts. Very easy on the eyes.
6. New York Jets
The old Jets helmets from the 80s were some of the worst. But these new ones which are a modified version of the original Jets helmets worn by Broadway Joe and company are very cool. I like the color and the print. Classy and unpretentious.
5. Atlanta Falcons (throwback)
I have never been a fan of the new black Falcons helmet. When they broke out these throwbacks a few weeks ago I couldn't take my eyes off of them. They should definitely go back to the red helmets. They are awesome!
4. Indianapolis Colts
Johnny Unitas and the black hightops. This is simple and classic. Like the Penn State of the Pros.
3. Denver Broncos (throwback)
I have nothing against the new Broncos helmets which are cool, but these classic helmets John Elway wore most often are one of my favorites. The "D" and the old school bronco are much nicer to look at than the new ones, I think.
2. New York Giants
Man, what a good looking helmet! It's all about the red stripe. Those are strong, nice looking colors. Much better than the old 80s version with the word "GIANTS", and NO red stripe!
1. Dallas Cowboys
No matter how you feel about Jerra or the showboatin' teams of the 90s this is by far the best looking helmet in all of football and one of the most recognizable images in all of sports. The star is perfect, the silver is classic. Other teams wish they had a logo that simple and that cool.
I know I made somebody angry, so let me hear what you think. Which helmet is your favorite?
This list has nothing to do with teams that I go for or how many super bowls they have won. It has nothing to do with who owns the team or plays for the team. It is simply a subjective look at the famous helmets worn by these teams. I am at heart a traditionalist so I am sorry in advance to the Jaguars and the Titans (who have the worst helmet in my opinion) for not including them. I like old school. I like classic. I like simple. These are my top ten favorite pro football helmets.
Honorable mention:
Philadelphia Eagles
Nice strong color and the wings are definitely a classic look. Makes me hungry for a cheesesteak!
10. Pittsburgh Steelers
Let's get the state of Pennsylvania out of the way with the first two on my list. I don't care for the team or even the colors that much but I like the way the logo is on one side of the helmet. Very old school and that's cool.
9. Miami Dolphins
That dolphin with the helmet is one of the best images in sports to me. I heard rumors years ago that they were going to change it but I wouldn't dream of it if I were in charge. It's a classic.
8. Green Bay Packers
No top ten list of pro footbal helmets should leave this one out. It is the image of Vince Lomabardi, Bart Starr, and Paul Hornung. It's THE classic pro football helmet. I don't know which came first, the Green Bay "G" or the Georgia Bulldog "G", but they are both classics.
7. San Diego Chargers
The Chargers helmets worn by Dan Fouts and those early teams were pretty cool, but then they changed to a darker blue in the 90s which I never liked. These new helmets however are the coolest ones yet. I love the white helmet with the blue and yellow combo bolts. Very easy on the eyes.
6. New York Jets
The old Jets helmets from the 80s were some of the worst. But these new ones which are a modified version of the original Jets helmets worn by Broadway Joe and company are very cool. I like the color and the print. Classy and unpretentious.
5. Atlanta Falcons (throwback)
I have never been a fan of the new black Falcons helmet. When they broke out these throwbacks a few weeks ago I couldn't take my eyes off of them. They should definitely go back to the red helmets. They are awesome!
4. Indianapolis Colts
Johnny Unitas and the black hightops. This is simple and classic. Like the Penn State of the Pros.
3. Denver Broncos (throwback)
I have nothing against the new Broncos helmets which are cool, but these classic helmets John Elway wore most often are one of my favorites. The "D" and the old school bronco are much nicer to look at than the new ones, I think.
2. New York Giants
Man, what a good looking helmet! It's all about the red stripe. Those are strong, nice looking colors. Much better than the old 80s version with the word "GIANTS", and NO red stripe!
1. Dallas Cowboys
No matter how you feel about Jerra or the showboatin' teams of the 90s this is by far the best looking helmet in all of football and one of the most recognizable images in all of sports. The star is perfect, the silver is classic. Other teams wish they had a logo that simple and that cool.
I know I made somebody angry, so let me hear what you think. Which helmet is your favorite?
Monday, October 26, 2009
My Top Ten Favorite Albums
(Billy The Kid was voted "favorite outlaw" in the latest poll)
If you are interested I have already put together a top ten list of my favorite Christian music albums. You can find it in the archives.
For this list although I am only giving my top ten I decided against placing them in any kind of order because after about 4 they are impossible to rank. Each one is my favorite depending on the day and my mood. However, you probably already know that The Beatles and U2 are my all-time favorite bands so that should give you a clue. There are many great albums I love which barely missed the cut. For instance, Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison, The Beatles (White Album) , Yes- Fragile, The Jayhawks- Tomorrow The Green Grass, U2- Acthung Baby, The Clash- London Calling, The Black Crowes- Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, and three or four Radiohead albums! I know one person in particular will be letting me know what I left out!
The Dark Side of the Moon- Pink Floyd
I would definitely classify this as the "greatest rock album of all-time" regardless of what Rolling Stone magazine or any other publications say. I know Sgt. Pepper always gets that label but c'mon it isn't really close. This was Pink Floyd's artistic pinnacle and it still holds the record for being the album to stay on Billboard's top 100 list the longest amount of time totalling 1500 weeks!! Despite the fact that Classic Rock radio (which I HATE!) dices it up and serves it in bastardized portions a dozen times a day, I still pull it out and listen to it from time to time. It's the benchmark for anyone out there that wants to know what the "perfect record" sounds like. In case you are wondering the runner-up in Billboard chart longevity is Legend - Bob Marley and The Wailers, but it is years and years behind.
Revolver- The Beatles
As the years have passed and music historians looked back at the most important records in rock 'n roll they began to give this one more respect. It's successor, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band still gets plenty of praise, but now the turning point of The Beatles musical revolution is recognized on this earlier album. It was the first post-touring Beatles album when they could focus more on the studio and the myriad of possibilities for creating a masterpiece. The seeds of this record laid the groundwork for Sgt. Pepper's critical harvest. My favorite songs are Taxman, I'm Only Sleeping, and She Said She Said.
The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan- Bob Dylan
This is my favorite Dylan album and in my opinion his most artistic folk album. He of course became very experimental when he went electric in later years but I have always liked his early stuff the best. I discussed my favorite Dylan albums earlier on this blog which you can find in the archives. This album is the one that solidified Dylan as the world's best folk song writer.
Blind Melon- Blind Melon
This is my favorite album of the 90s. It has some sentimental value for me over many of the other albums here. The song Time has a lyric which says, "Sittin' on a swing watching Columbus clouds bring in the rain." That's isn't Columbus, Ohio Shannon Hoon is singing about, that's Columbus, Mississippi where I lived from 1988 to 1996 when I got married. Drummer Glen Graham was from Columbus and an alumnus of my alma mater S.D. Lee High School. The Bee girl on the cover is Georgia Graham, Glen's sister. I didn't know her personally, but I did see Georgia roaming the halls of Lee High when she was a senior and I was a freshman. I did know another girl, however, who was in the same kindergarten class, in the same bee costume, in her own picture she once showed me. As for the album, it still holds up to this day and may be the most underrated classic of the past 20 years. It's a shame Hoon died of an overdose and they could never recapture the magic of this one.
Abbey Road- The Beatles
No matter what is said about all the other Beatles albums, this one is my favorite. Actually, this is probably my favorite album of all time, even though it includes one of their worst songs- Octopus's Garden- which I never listen to. The second half of this album was the Beatles saying goodbye and in my opinion they saved their best for last!
OK Computer- Radiohead
The Bends is an excellent album, and many would say it is Radiohead's best but I think OK Computer is the point where they became much more sophisticated and mature in their creative song writing. But I like all of Radiohead's albums and recently I've been listening to In Rainbows a bunch.
Chutes Too Narrow- The Shins
Here's an album I put in my CD player and didn't take out for a while. I love it from beginning to end and sing along all the way through. I suppose that would qualify it for "top ten" status.
Rattle and Hum- U2
The soundtrack for the film that made me a U2 fan to begin with. I remember the winter of 88 when I bought this CD and listened to it for weeks nonstop. I subsequently bought all of their music. I know it was not a critical favorite and U2 seemed to be acting a bit too self-important covering classics by The Beatles and Bob Dylan, but this one is still very special to me.
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars- David Bowie
This one has really grown on me. I always thought it was good but after listening repeatedly I think this is definitely one of the most brilliant artistic rock albums of all time. It is certainly one of the best of the 70s.
The Joshua Tree- U2
THE album of the 80s and U2 at their peak. I used to listen to this on a daily basis from 88 to 90. I was actually disappointed when Achtung Baby was released because I was expecting The Joshua Tree 2 or something. It took me a little while to warm up to U2's new style, but I eventually came around. I would put this album just behind Abbey Road among my favorites.
Ok, that's it, so give it to me! Sorry I didn't include any Led Zeppelin or Coldplay. And surprisingly, no Styx!
If you are interested I have already put together a top ten list of my favorite Christian music albums. You can find it in the archives.
For this list although I am only giving my top ten I decided against placing them in any kind of order because after about 4 they are impossible to rank. Each one is my favorite depending on the day and my mood. However, you probably already know that The Beatles and U2 are my all-time favorite bands so that should give you a clue. There are many great albums I love which barely missed the cut. For instance, Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison, The Beatles (White Album) , Yes- Fragile, The Jayhawks- Tomorrow The Green Grass, U2- Acthung Baby, The Clash- London Calling, The Black Crowes- Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, and three or four Radiohead albums! I know one person in particular will be letting me know what I left out!
The Dark Side of the Moon- Pink Floyd
I would definitely classify this as the "greatest rock album of all-time" regardless of what Rolling Stone magazine or any other publications say. I know Sgt. Pepper always gets that label but c'mon it isn't really close. This was Pink Floyd's artistic pinnacle and it still holds the record for being the album to stay on Billboard's top 100 list the longest amount of time totalling 1500 weeks!! Despite the fact that Classic Rock radio (which I HATE!) dices it up and serves it in bastardized portions a dozen times a day, I still pull it out and listen to it from time to time. It's the benchmark for anyone out there that wants to know what the "perfect record" sounds like. In case you are wondering the runner-up in Billboard chart longevity is Legend - Bob Marley and The Wailers, but it is years and years behind.
Revolver- The Beatles
As the years have passed and music historians looked back at the most important records in rock 'n roll they began to give this one more respect. It's successor, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band still gets plenty of praise, but now the turning point of The Beatles musical revolution is recognized on this earlier album. It was the first post-touring Beatles album when they could focus more on the studio and the myriad of possibilities for creating a masterpiece. The seeds of this record laid the groundwork for Sgt. Pepper's critical harvest. My favorite songs are Taxman, I'm Only Sleeping, and She Said She Said.
The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan- Bob Dylan
This is my favorite Dylan album and in my opinion his most artistic folk album. He of course became very experimental when he went electric in later years but I have always liked his early stuff the best. I discussed my favorite Dylan albums earlier on this blog which you can find in the archives. This album is the one that solidified Dylan as the world's best folk song writer.
Blind Melon- Blind Melon
This is my favorite album of the 90s. It has some sentimental value for me over many of the other albums here. The song Time has a lyric which says, "Sittin' on a swing watching Columbus clouds bring in the rain." That's isn't Columbus, Ohio Shannon Hoon is singing about, that's Columbus, Mississippi where I lived from 1988 to 1996 when I got married. Drummer Glen Graham was from Columbus and an alumnus of my alma mater S.D. Lee High School. The Bee girl on the cover is Georgia Graham, Glen's sister. I didn't know her personally, but I did see Georgia roaming the halls of Lee High when she was a senior and I was a freshman. I did know another girl, however, who was in the same kindergarten class, in the same bee costume, in her own picture she once showed me. As for the album, it still holds up to this day and may be the most underrated classic of the past 20 years. It's a shame Hoon died of an overdose and they could never recapture the magic of this one.
Abbey Road- The Beatles
No matter what is said about all the other Beatles albums, this one is my favorite. Actually, this is probably my favorite album of all time, even though it includes one of their worst songs- Octopus's Garden- which I never listen to. The second half of this album was the Beatles saying goodbye and in my opinion they saved their best for last!
OK Computer- Radiohead
The Bends is an excellent album, and many would say it is Radiohead's best but I think OK Computer is the point where they became much more sophisticated and mature in their creative song writing. But I like all of Radiohead's albums and recently I've been listening to In Rainbows a bunch.
Chutes Too Narrow- The Shins
Here's an album I put in my CD player and didn't take out for a while. I love it from beginning to end and sing along all the way through. I suppose that would qualify it for "top ten" status.
Rattle and Hum- U2
The soundtrack for the film that made me a U2 fan to begin with. I remember the winter of 88 when I bought this CD and listened to it for weeks nonstop. I subsequently bought all of their music. I know it was not a critical favorite and U2 seemed to be acting a bit too self-important covering classics by The Beatles and Bob Dylan, but this one is still very special to me.
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars- David Bowie
This one has really grown on me. I always thought it was good but after listening repeatedly I think this is definitely one of the most brilliant artistic rock albums of all time. It is certainly one of the best of the 70s.
The Joshua Tree- U2
THE album of the 80s and U2 at their peak. I used to listen to this on a daily basis from 88 to 90. I was actually disappointed when Achtung Baby was released because I was expecting The Joshua Tree 2 or something. It took me a little while to warm up to U2's new style, but I eventually came around. I would put this album just behind Abbey Road among my favorites.
Ok, that's it, so give it to me! Sorry I didn't include any Led Zeppelin or Coldplay. And surprisingly, no Styx!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
My Top Ten Favorite Muppets
(So, Poison best represents the 80s apparently, for hair metal anyway)
With apologies to that annoying kids favorite, Elmo. And to Fozzie who I like, but told one too many bad jokes.
1. Grover
Before Elmo came along, Grover was the star. His Super Grover is still the baddest super hero of all time. He made crash landings popular BEFORE the Greatest American Hero. Don't forget it! (and apparently I'm not alone since he won the poll question handily)
2. Lew Zealand
He throws boomerang fish! This guy cracks me up everytime he shows up that one millisecond in a Muppets skit or movie. I love the name so much I'm changing my blog name from Dignan to Lew Zealand.
3. The Swedish Chef
He has real hands and everything he says is hilarious because I have no idea what he is saying!
4. Beeker
Seriously, who doesn't love Beeker?
5. Animal
Plays drums, chases women...what's not to love?
6. Miss Piggy
Funniest female in the history of comedy...even though a man does her voice. If I weren't married I would seriously consider counseling because I want to think about possibly going on a date with her to see if we could make something happen...possibly.
7. Statler and Waldorf
I know they are two muppets but inseperable so they count as one. Negativity and criticism were never funnier. If I was on the show, I'd be one of those guys. "If you were on the show we wouldn't have to look at this stupid blog...bwahahahaha". See I'm doing it already.
8. Crazy Harry
He blows stuff up! Need I say more?
9. Gonzo
What do Gonzo and Colonel Sanders have in common? Exactly.
10. Sam Eagle
At least Statler and Waldorf laugh after they rip something. Sam don't give a rat's A@#!
What, you say? Where's beloved Kermit? Well, I thought that was a bit obvious. That would be like picking Luke Skywalker for favorite Star Wars character. I meant BESIDES the ring leader of course. Until next time...
With apologies to that annoying kids favorite, Elmo. And to Fozzie who I like, but told one too many bad jokes.
1. Grover
Before Elmo came along, Grover was the star. His Super Grover is still the baddest super hero of all time. He made crash landings popular BEFORE the Greatest American Hero. Don't forget it! (and apparently I'm not alone since he won the poll question handily)
2. Lew Zealand
He throws boomerang fish! This guy cracks me up everytime he shows up that one millisecond in a Muppets skit or movie. I love the name so much I'm changing my blog name from Dignan to Lew Zealand.
3. The Swedish Chef
He has real hands and everything he says is hilarious because I have no idea what he is saying!
4. Beeker
Seriously, who doesn't love Beeker?
5. Animal
Plays drums, chases women...what's not to love?
6. Miss Piggy
Funniest female in the history of comedy...even though a man does her voice. If I weren't married I would seriously consider counseling because I want to think about possibly going on a date with her to see if we could make something happen...possibly.
7. Statler and Waldorf
I know they are two muppets but inseperable so they count as one. Negativity and criticism were never funnier. If I was on the show, I'd be one of those guys. "If you were on the show we wouldn't have to look at this stupid blog...bwahahahaha". See I'm doing it already.
8. Crazy Harry
He blows stuff up! Need I say more?
9. Gonzo
What do Gonzo and Colonel Sanders have in common? Exactly.
10. Sam Eagle
At least Statler and Waldorf laugh after they rip something. Sam don't give a rat's A@#!
What, you say? Where's beloved Kermit? Well, I thought that was a bit obvious. That would be like picking Luke Skywalker for favorite Star Wars character. I meant BESIDES the ring leader of course. Until next time...
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Football Observations
(In recent polls Liger was voted favorite cat..."it's pretty much my favorite animal." And Batman was picked over Hannah Montana surpisingly, for favorite big-screen superhero.)
A month into the football season, "the most wonderful time of the year" there are many interesting stories in pro and college.
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to the Detroit Lions for finally winning a game and HAIL to the Redskins for being the "designated loser". Like the guy at the frat party who has to take the ugly girl home, you sacrificed yourself for the good of the league. I just wonder if Jim Zorn will still be the coach at the end of the year.
Congratulations to the University of Washington for not only FINALLY winning a game but upsetting the mighty USC Trojans. Although with a couple of rookie QBs vying for starts they aren't as mighty as advertised.
Virginia Tech got beat my beloved Crimson Tide, but watch out! The Hokies hung on to beat a good Nebraska team and dominated the favored Canes of Miami. Tyrod is looking pretty cool as the leader and I don't see any contenders to keep them from another ACC title. Just think, if Oklahoma beats Texas and Florida stumbles to Bama in the SEC title game, wouldn't it be something to see a Hokie vs. Tide rematch. I know I'm assuming a lot here but I bet the Hokie nation would love another shot at us.
Did anyone see that Oregon vs. Boise State game to start the season. I was completely shocked and dismayed by that spectacle. Who in the world would put duck feathers over the shoulder pads. What a dumb uniform! ...And that sucker punch by Lagarette Blount was pretty bad, too.
Who would've bet at the beginning of the season that the Denver Broncos would be 3-0 and the Titans would be 0-3?
Who would have thought the ownership styles of Jerry Jones and Al Davis would draw so much attention? You gotta admit that scoreboard is pretty awesome and you gotta admit Al does resemble the Emperor Palpatine.
And with all of the great quarterback play from the youngsters, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan, and Mark Sanchez it almost makes you wish Brett Favre would un-retire and show them how to do it old-school....huh, someone just handed me a note. Apparently, Favre is the starting quarterback of the Vikings. Whatever! Like that would ever happen. They're in the Packers' division. That would make as much sense as that 49er who stood on the star playing for the Cowboys....what's that? oh.
But seriously, can you believe it's been a month and Terrell Owens hasn't called out his head coach AND quarterback?
And do you think that Al Michaels and Bob Cosatas aren't even a little bit embarrassed to be on the same program with Keith "Moonbat" O-LIBERAL-man?
So far I have been pleasantly surprised that Chris Collinsworth hasn't made me throw anything at the TV during the Sunday night games. And I think "Chucky", AKA Jon Gruden , is doing a very good job so far on Monday Night Football. The banter between him and Jaws is at least more entertaining to me than the spats between Ron and Tony Kornheiser last season.
And speaking of sports commentary, I'm just wondering something- when a team has a bye week and then lose it's because they are "rusty", but if they have a bye week and then dominate "they've had time to rest and prepare". Which is it, sportscasters? I guess it depends on which side of the bed you woke up on. We'll probably never know.
A month into the football season, "the most wonderful time of the year" there are many interesting stories in pro and college.
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to the Detroit Lions for finally winning a game and HAIL to the Redskins for being the "designated loser". Like the guy at the frat party who has to take the ugly girl home, you sacrificed yourself for the good of the league. I just wonder if Jim Zorn will still be the coach at the end of the year.
Congratulations to the University of Washington for not only FINALLY winning a game but upsetting the mighty USC Trojans. Although with a couple of rookie QBs vying for starts they aren't as mighty as advertised.
Virginia Tech got beat my beloved Crimson Tide, but watch out! The Hokies hung on to beat a good Nebraska team and dominated the favored Canes of Miami. Tyrod is looking pretty cool as the leader and I don't see any contenders to keep them from another ACC title. Just think, if Oklahoma beats Texas and Florida stumbles to Bama in the SEC title game, wouldn't it be something to see a Hokie vs. Tide rematch. I know I'm assuming a lot here but I bet the Hokie nation would love another shot at us.
Did anyone see that Oregon vs. Boise State game to start the season. I was completely shocked and dismayed by that spectacle. Who in the world would put duck feathers over the shoulder pads. What a dumb uniform! ...And that sucker punch by Lagarette Blount was pretty bad, too.
Who would've bet at the beginning of the season that the Denver Broncos would be 3-0 and the Titans would be 0-3?
Who would have thought the ownership styles of Jerry Jones and Al Davis would draw so much attention? You gotta admit that scoreboard is pretty awesome and you gotta admit Al does resemble the Emperor Palpatine.
And with all of the great quarterback play from the youngsters, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan, and Mark Sanchez it almost makes you wish Brett Favre would un-retire and show them how to do it old-school....huh, someone just handed me a note. Apparently, Favre is the starting quarterback of the Vikings. Whatever! Like that would ever happen. They're in the Packers' division. That would make as much sense as that 49er who stood on the star playing for the Cowboys....what's that? oh.
But seriously, can you believe it's been a month and Terrell Owens hasn't called out his head coach AND quarterback?
And do you think that Al Michaels and Bob Cosatas aren't even a little bit embarrassed to be on the same program with Keith "Moonbat" O-LIBERAL-man?
So far I have been pleasantly surprised that Chris Collinsworth hasn't made me throw anything at the TV during the Sunday night games. And I think "Chucky", AKA Jon Gruden , is doing a very good job so far on Monday Night Football. The banter between him and Jaws is at least more entertaining to me than the spats between Ron and Tony Kornheiser last season.
And speaking of sports commentary, I'm just wondering something- when a team has a bye week and then lose it's because they are "rusty", but if they have a bye week and then dominate "they've had time to rest and prepare". Which is it, sportscasters? I guess it depends on which side of the bed you woke up on. We'll probably never know.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The Must-See Directors Part 2
I'm BAAAAACK!
After a hard drive crash and a little hiatus to clear my graying head I am rebeginning starting the blog over again revamping revitalized rejuvenating it and...ahem...sorry, let me start over again.
HEEEEEEERRRRE'S Dignan!
Forget it. Here's some more directors I like a lot. Read below.
The Must-See Directors Part Two
Frank Capra
If you haven't seen a Capra film...well, I'd be surprised. If you haven't seen Mr. Smith Goes To Washington or even It's a Wonderful Life, you probably have at least seen the Adam Sandler remake of Mr. Deeds Goes To Town. Capra's style was much loved and much maligned almost simultaneously. It was so positive and preachy at times it caused some to call his films "Capra-corn". I have to admit that some movies I once loved have waned because of the overt "preachiness", like Meet John Doe for instance, but It's A Wonderful Life remains one of my favorite films of all time. It has the right touch of sentimentality and realism. That one film alone makes Capra a must-see director!
Stanley Kubrick
The mad genius, as he's portrayed, is one of my favorite directors. He was in a world of his own in cinema history. I watched a documentary on him recently which destroyed the myths surrounding him. He wasn't a mean reclusive misogynist as he has been portrayed but a very cheerful, deeply intelligent, family man. His films are not normal in almost any sense. His most commercial film and probably biggest hit was Spartacus but he had little control over production. It was Kirk Douglas's film and Kubrick was brought in to replace a fired director. All of Kubrick's other films, good or bad, were interesting. As other admiring directors said, his film was the one you waited to see even if it took ten years. My favorite is his masterpiece 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Martin Scorsese
Along with his contemporary Steven Spielberg, Scorsese is the greatest director of the last thirty years. Only recently has he been winning the kind of awards he should have gotten many years ago. I wouldn't say his films are "family friendly" by any means but there are some so good I never tire of watching them. Actually most of his films only get better with repeated viewings. The best to me are Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York, The Departed, The Aviator, Mean Streets, and The King of Comedy. Taxi Driver is a classic but a bit overrated for my taste.
Akira Kurosawa
If you asked me who is the greatest director of all time and I took my personal feelings completely out of the eqation, Kurosawa is the man. Besides he is a close second even then. There is a reason that his films are the most available Japanese titles in the Western world, they are the best. Like John Ford in America, Fellini in Italy, or Bergman in Sweden, Kurosawa is the master of his native land when it comes to film. His films have influenced everyone from Sergio Leone, to Coppola, to Speilberg, to George Lucas. Seven Samarai, Rashomon, Ran, Throne of Blood, The Hidden Fortress, Yojimbo, High and Low, and many, many more of his films are at the top in cinema history. If you haven't ever seen a Japanese film any of these titles is a good place to start, but I would recommend Seven Samarai. That is MUST-SEE!
Steven Spielberg
Obviously, I keep bringing him up, so you probably saw it coming that Spielberg is my all-time favorite. Not every film is great but he has the best in too many genres not to be the best. Raiders of the Lost Ark, one of my personal favorites, is STILL the greatest action movie ever. Saving Private Ryan is the greatest war film ever. Jaws is second only to Psycho in the thriller genre. With E.T. , Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and War of the Worlds he's sort of wrapped up the "alien" genre. And of course Schindler's List is not only the best non-documentary holocaust film ever made it is one of the greatest films period. Don't even get me started on The Color Purple or Empire of the Sun. Chances are you have probably already seen all of these films or at least Jurassic Park a few dozen times. I also really like Catch Me If You Can and Amistad. Just make sure to avoid 1941 and the last 20 minutes of Hook and A.I.
That's my list, but there are many more I consider must-see....I'm just tired of typing.
After a hard drive crash and a little hiatus to clear my graying head I am rebeginning starting the blog over again revamping revitalized rejuvenating it and...ahem...sorry, let me start over again.
HEEEEEEERRRRE'S Dignan!
Forget it. Here's some more directors I like a lot. Read below.
The Must-See Directors Part Two
Frank Capra
If you haven't seen a Capra film...well, I'd be surprised. If you haven't seen Mr. Smith Goes To Washington or even It's a Wonderful Life, you probably have at least seen the Adam Sandler remake of Mr. Deeds Goes To Town. Capra's style was much loved and much maligned almost simultaneously. It was so positive and preachy at times it caused some to call his films "Capra-corn". I have to admit that some movies I once loved have waned because of the overt "preachiness", like Meet John Doe for instance, but It's A Wonderful Life remains one of my favorite films of all time. It has the right touch of sentimentality and realism. That one film alone makes Capra a must-see director!
Stanley Kubrick
The mad genius, as he's portrayed, is one of my favorite directors. He was in a world of his own in cinema history. I watched a documentary on him recently which destroyed the myths surrounding him. He wasn't a mean reclusive misogynist as he has been portrayed but a very cheerful, deeply intelligent, family man. His films are not normal in almost any sense. His most commercial film and probably biggest hit was Spartacus but he had little control over production. It was Kirk Douglas's film and Kubrick was brought in to replace a fired director. All of Kubrick's other films, good or bad, were interesting. As other admiring directors said, his film was the one you waited to see even if it took ten years. My favorite is his masterpiece 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Martin Scorsese
Along with his contemporary Steven Spielberg, Scorsese is the greatest director of the last thirty years. Only recently has he been winning the kind of awards he should have gotten many years ago. I wouldn't say his films are "family friendly" by any means but there are some so good I never tire of watching them. Actually most of his films only get better with repeated viewings. The best to me are Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York, The Departed, The Aviator, Mean Streets, and The King of Comedy. Taxi Driver is a classic but a bit overrated for my taste.
Akira Kurosawa
If you asked me who is the greatest director of all time and I took my personal feelings completely out of the eqation, Kurosawa is the man. Besides he is a close second even then. There is a reason that his films are the most available Japanese titles in the Western world, they are the best. Like John Ford in America, Fellini in Italy, or Bergman in Sweden, Kurosawa is the master of his native land when it comes to film. His films have influenced everyone from Sergio Leone, to Coppola, to Speilberg, to George Lucas. Seven Samarai, Rashomon, Ran, Throne of Blood, The Hidden Fortress, Yojimbo, High and Low, and many, many more of his films are at the top in cinema history. If you haven't ever seen a Japanese film any of these titles is a good place to start, but I would recommend Seven Samarai. That is MUST-SEE!
Steven Spielberg
Obviously, I keep bringing him up, so you probably saw it coming that Spielberg is my all-time favorite. Not every film is great but he has the best in too many genres not to be the best. Raiders of the Lost Ark, one of my personal favorites, is STILL the greatest action movie ever. Saving Private Ryan is the greatest war film ever. Jaws is second only to Psycho in the thriller genre. With E.T. , Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and War of the Worlds he's sort of wrapped up the "alien" genre. And of course Schindler's List is not only the best non-documentary holocaust film ever made it is one of the greatest films period. Don't even get me started on The Color Purple or Empire of the Sun. Chances are you have probably already seen all of these films or at least Jurassic Park a few dozen times. I also really like Catch Me If You Can and Amistad. Just make sure to avoid 1941 and the last 20 minutes of Hook and A.I.
That's my list, but there are many more I consider must-see....I'm just tired of typing.
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